All i know is that everything is not as it seems

I sit cross legged on the couch, mesmerized by the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree. I go out to the front porch and look at the tree through the window. What a sight.
Weep to the beauty, if you like. It's a satisfying cry.
I had only minutes before read this line in 'Never Change', a book by Elizabeth Berg i've had on my bokshelf for ages but have only just begun to read. The aptness of that line floors me.
Weep to the beauty, weep to the beauty, weep to the beauty. Let us weep to the beauty.


I feel an overwhelming sense of contentment come over me. It's as if a part of my heart that has been blackened by negativity has now been made clean. I want to spin in circles. Round and round. You feel like you're going to fall. But you don't.
You only laugh.

It's the third week of Advent. Marilyn and I had the honour of lighting the candles on the Advent wreath in church over the weekend. I lit the pink candle that symbolises joy. Joy.
The search we're on is fundamentally the search for Joy. We seek joy in places, people, things. But isn't it true that joy can only be found in yourself, in the very core of your existence? Joy doesn't come and go.
Joy is.
When do we stop being fascinated by a full moon, by our shadows, by the fact that we can breathe? Growing up teaches us so many lessons but sadly, growing up makes us lose that sense of wonderment. Too busy. Too tired.

Don't live life thinking that nothing good has come your way. Bad things have happened and they will continue to happen. Your heart will be broken, your loved ones will pass on, that job offer will be taken from you.

But as you weep, i ask that you remember the day you were a child of five, sitting on the floor with your mouth wide open after the fairy lights on the Christmas tree were switched on. Nothing else mattered.

Joy is inside of you. It is. Remember this and weep to the beauty.