Everything i have i owe to You

"Weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning."
Psalm 30:5

It's funny really, how people say i, a medically certified depressed and anxiety-prone individual, make them happy just by being around. It makes you wonder, doesn't it?
I know i've changed. My heart is less burdened, my mind is clearer. And i don't want to think that a pill i take every day is the sole reason for my change in disposition. The pill helps for sure but i have learnt to let go and i think that's been the main reason for this change. I don't wake up in the morning thinking about all the people who've let me down. I wake up in the morning realising that it's a new day full of possibilities. I try not to let the little things bring me down, and let me just say that that in itself is a challenge for someone like me.
I remember when i locked myself in my room for three days last year, crying. When my dad finally made me open the door and asked what was wrong, all i could say was "I'm just not good enough. I'm.Just.Not.Good.Enough."
What i now know for sure is this- I am good enough. I have always been good enough. I am beautiful, intelligent and talented. I am blessed! I will face difficulties; there will be days where getting out of bed seems like a chore; panic attacks will hit me when i least expect them to.

But because i know that the the sun can still unexpectedly shine on the cloudiest of days, i have hope. Hope that things will be ok. Hope that i will get through the dark times.
And because i'm a Christian, i have faith. Faith that God will not give me anything i cannot handle. Faith that He is here with me, always.
During my walk this morning, the Lord assured me of his presence in my life, now and forever. Oh, the relief.

So, if you say that i make you happy, know that it has come out of years of doubt, disbelief and pain. I have changed.
And i owe it all to God.