What you're worth

There are days when i feel very attractive. Take today for instance. I'm sitting at home with a hacking cough, my throat feels like it's on fire and i had a much needed but very disorienting 2-hour nap this afternoon (i go to bed when it's light out and wake up when it's dark. The clock tells me that it is only late afternoon. 5:30. It feels like another lifetime.) I should be feeling out of sorts. And maybe i am. But i put on a cute little outfit, my black heels (with the purple butterfly. The purple butterfly makes this shoe.), put my hair up in a bun. And then let it down. And then up again. With my glasses on, i look like an intelligent, attractive, confident, self-assured young woman. With my glasses off, i look like an intelligent, attractive, confident, self-assured woung woman. I smile at my reflection and imagine myself at dinner next to the boy of my dreams. He leans over and whispers, "Can i say something? You're beautiful." I say thank-you but laugh it off. But in my mind, as always, i evaluate and re-evaluate. I analyse. (And even in my daydream, i analyse. Funny that.) Does he like me or does he like me? Should i start planning the kind of shoes my bridesmaids are going to wear? (Oh wait. I've already done that.)
To cut the story short, yes. Yes, he likes me. Those around us are looking at us and smiling. They see me leaning into him, they see him looking at me and wham. We're it.

Where is this even going? I feel attractive tonight. There is no man in my life, although i'd be lying if i said i didn't have a particular male in my mind for the dinner scenario mentioned above. Life goes on. I'm moving house next week and my dearest Lisa and i will be flatmates. I have a presentation next Thursday. God's love for me is still unfathomable. My love for Him makes me giddy. I'm still waiting for Him to give me a keyboard and a man. In that order.

[Randomness]How nice would it be to have someone next to you at night? I just want to feel safe. Oh, and a cuddle. A cuddle!![/Randomness]