Made to discover who You are and who i am

Yesterday, February 16, marked my one year anniversary in Sydney. I have grown into a woman i'm proud of and happy with.

My spiritual life has taken on a new level i never imagined possible or available. The daily conversations with God and the time i spend with him in quiet reflection, through his Word or during a moment of deep reverence in the midst of crashing waves have strengthened my heart.

I take care of my body and have made peace with it. I go for morning runs along King Street- running past all the people rushing to work; running past the smell of coffee and freshly baked bread. I swim. I walk. I eat my fruit. I drink my water. I take my vitamins.

I have learned to love and let go. Loving was a lot easier than letting go. But i have emerged stronger through experience. I love my friends. I love my family. And i am so in love with God. I had to learn to love him. I had to let myself be embraced, allured and romanced even though i felt unworthy.
I still struggle with feelings of unworthiness. In moments of weakness, i wonder how someone could and why they would love me. On most days, i am fairly confident of my ability to love and be loved in return. (On this note, my first Valentine's day in Sydney was pretty uneventful (that is, no sudden declarations of love or a huge bouqet turning up on my doorstep), save for a coffee date with Jena. We sat and talked about boys. As you do.)

So, things have changed and continue to change every day. I've been back here three weeks since my holiday in Singapore and am amazed (and possibly perplexed) by the rate at which changes are taking place. God is definitely on the go here, i can tell.

Yesterday evening, after the rain had eased, we saw a double rainbow. My first ever double rainbow. We were in the car, i was rocking Charlie and suddenly...enraptured. It took my breath away. I knew without a doubt that i was being assured and loved and held. And a double rainbow on the one year anniversary of my move to Sydney was pure, sweet icing on the cake for what i have known since the day i arrived:

I am home.

(Speaking of home, check out my niece's blog. She's turning out to be quite the writer!)