the long day is over

listening to norah singing "the long day is over", i am reminded of how perfect this song is for now. i'm hoping that a long season of uncertainty, fear and anxiety is over. it's been a long, tough summer. not that it even felt like summer. it has been rather cool, with a few hot days scattered around to make it seem normal. but now, i notice trees whose leaves have turned orange, ready to fall to the ground. i swam in the saltwater pool at coogee with lisa as thunder thundered away and rain started to fall. the waves started crashing but yet...calm. the ocean just puts me in a space that allows me to remember what life is about. yesterday, i went for a walk around the bay at five dock, looking at boats and beautiful houses. i sat on a bench and looked at the water without thinking about anything. again, such calm. my dream is to live in a house on a cliff with my new family- my husband and my children. i want to play the grand piano as the sunlight streams in, casting shadows on our wooden floorboards. i want to make new traditions. i want to give and receive lots of hugs, cuddles and kisses- something that was missing in my childhood. i want the kids to see daddy and mummy loving on each other; being kind, affectionate and supportive. i want j and me to be parents who teach our children to be responsible, kind and loving towards other people. i want them to learn that our god will always look after them and protect them, even when the lights are turned off, the house makes creaking sounds and their friends have told them to watch out for monsters that come up from under their bed. i want to make passionate love to my husband on the kitchen floor when the house is empty and after we've just had our billionth argument. i hear the leaves move in the wind and feel the cool breeze on my arms as i write. norah continues playing. the house is empty. such calm. i have nothing on my mind. off to watch grey's anatomy which i recorded on Sunday. my supervisor has told me that it was a good episode. i love my supervisor, with whom i can discuss concepts and hollywood. maybe make a cup of hot milo to watch meredith make her decision.