The night drew long, you kept me strong

I didn't plan on writing this entry, just like i didn't plan on having that slice of chocolate cake after dinner. In fact, i should really be in bed resting my tired feet and heart. But my body feels uncomfortably full from comfort eating as i tried desperately to fill that little space somewhere between my neck and lower abdomen with food.

So i stay awake, writing and looking at photos i took yesterday at a wedding.

I've been to many weddings. I've been to many weddings without a date. I've been to many weddings without a date and without remorse that i didn't have a date. But yesterday afternoon, as my friends promised themselves to each other, as i stood on the grass with my camera, as i looked around and noticed hands on waists, heads on shoulders, fingers intertwined and lips meeting in a kiss, i was overcome with a sudden burst of yearning for a man to stand next to me and hold my hand and give me a little kiss. I arrived at the wedding completely unprepared for the rush of emotions although, really, i should have anticipated them. As i took one photograph after another, every single bone in my body cried out for love. I wanted to sit and breathe.

I sipped champagne instead.

I am in a season of waiting. I am learning to wait patiently. No more whinging about wanting things right now. No more settling for good enough. I am expecting the best.
Because i can.