Inside every turning leaf is the pattern of an older tree

I feel like i'm in love. Spring does that to me. I remember Sting's I was brought to my senses, the song i want played at my Spring wedding. I love how this season brings about so many possibilities. How can you look at a tree, abundant with fresh, green leaves and not feel...hopeful? I find myself stopping in my tracks ever so often, amazed and grateful for all this green around me.
Because really, where there was death, there is now life.

I was brought to my senses,
I was blind but now that I can see
Every signpost in nature said
You belong to me

Livin' on dreams ain't easy

I'm on a journey now. The roads are long. The path isn't smooth. There are some rocks along the way and i find myself tripping ever so often.
But i also find myself getting up and walking on to a full life, the life i was destined to live.

So much has happened in the past month and to write it all down in words seems like an insurmountable task at this point in time, although they have been well-documented in my mind. But knowing that i'm exactly where i'm supposed to be and having the support of my friends here have made my journey bearable. Not to mention all the coffee and sweet things i've been having. We all need to indulge sometimes, i reckon. I also get the next week off work as the kids i nanny are going away on holiday. I plan to spend some time with myself- at the beach, discovering cafes and sitting under a big tree in the park with a book in hand. I want to buy turquoise jewellry and wear a flowy white skirt and spin and do crazy stuff like having porridge (oatmeal) for dinner. It's time i got connected with myself again, the new (and improved) me.

My life is about to change and i can't wait to see what's in store for me on the other side of the tunnel.

On a totally unrelated note, i have a crush on the man who makes my coffee (or chai latte) outside Central station. What is it about boys and (good) coffee that make a woman (namely, me) feel all gooey inside? This man is just all smiles and happiness. "Here's your Chai latte 'mam, have a great day!"- I will treasure those words forever.
I can't wait till Friday morning, when i will pretend to scan the coffee menu although i know i already want the caramel latte because this woman who tried it last week, whilst i was getting my chai, raved about it. I will look into his beautiful face and ask him for suggestions and when he suggests the caramel latte, i will say, simply, "Yes.". If he suggests something else, i will still, simply, say "Yes."
Because i know better than to argue with a beautiful man who makes good coffee.
If i'm feeling brave, i'll ask if i can take a photo to share with you.
Because you need to meet the boy who makes me smile like a silly billy on a Friday morning.

All i know is that i find rest in you

When the soul wants, the soul waits

I am walking down the street one Friday afternoon to catch a bus, with people in business suits walking past, recharged after their pasta or sandwich...or rocky road ice-cream with chocolate syrup. The smell of freshly brewed coffee, of baristas speaking the not-so-alien-anymore coffee language- large, skinny, cap, foam, no foam- reminds me of how normal everything can seem. I love immersing myself in everydayness.
I want a regular skinny caramel chai latte from Starbucks just to see if i can say the whole thing in a single breath. But also because i love caramel and i love chai and having both in a latte can only be beautiful. Then i remember the huge grilled chicken sandwich i had for lunch a few minutes earlier and decide to save the latte for the weekend, where it can be savoured properly, like it should be.
I am suddenly imbued with feelings of positivity. I find my dreams being restored. I find it all to be possible. I start to walk like a woman with a clear purpose. With my shoulders back, hair blowing in the wind and a "I know something you don't" smile on my face, i arrive at the bus stop and wait for the rest of my life to unfold.