Thursday, December 30, 2004

Why are you still in my heart?

Maybe a relationship is not about the electricity you feel when his hand brushes against yours.
Maybe it's not about loving the feeling of his arm around your waist.
Maybe it's not about the butterflies you have in your stomach when someone mentions his name.

Maybe a relationship is finding a man you can depend on, someone who shares the same faith and values as you, someone who isn't going to leave you at the first sign of trouble.

Monday, December 27, 2004

Day after Christmas

The girls


This was probably the best Christmas i've had in a long while- Being part of the Christmas pageant, attending midnight mass, partying at Jon's place till 4am, carolling in church, spending time with the young ones like Brenda and Cheryl, having dinner with June, Michaela and her family, being with my own wonderful family...
I'm just so thankful to God for all of this, especially after hearing about the massive earthquake and tsunamis that have hit Asia. I thought my heart would break as i watched a man mouning the loss of his entire family in India.

The most expensive present in the world can never make up for a tragedy such as this.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas!

I hope you have a wonderful, blessed Christmas filled with joy, laughter, lots of good food and kisses under the mistletoe.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Baby's got blue skies up ahead

Clouds on a Thursday morning


I wake up at 7am every morning to go for my walk and it's usually the same old routine- make my bed, brush my teeth, grab my discman, put on my shoes and leave.
But today, i was distracted by the clouds which i noticed upon opening the windows in the kitchen. They were beautiful and i had no choice but to stop and stare at them for a good five minutes.
I can't imagine a world without clouds. Or trees. Or flowers. Or water. Or the sun, the moon, the stars.

Can you?

Saturday, December 18, 2004

In the air there's a feeling of Christmas...

Me. I was so pleased that it was cold enough for me to wear my pink blazer. I adore it. And the skirt too.
Rel, on one of our shopping expeditions
Ahh. Starbucks.
A pretty tree
Red lights (with a poster of a hot guy on the left)
Got to love those purple lights

Approaching Tangs
Lovely
Tangs- the mall with the prettiest decorations
City
City Posted by Hello
Forum, The shopping mall Posted by Hello
Aftermath of a storm Posted by Hello

Monday, December 13, 2004

All i know is that everything is not as it seems

I sit cross legged on the couch, mesmerized by the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree. I go out to the front porch and look at the tree through the window. What a sight.
Weep to the beauty, if you like. It's a satisfying cry.

I had only minutes before read this line in 'Never Change', a book by Elizabeth Berg i've had on my bokshelf for ages but have only just begun to read. The aptness of that line floors me.
Weep to the beauty, weep to the beauty, weep to the beauty. Let us weep to the beauty.
Posted by Hello

I feel an overwhelming sense of contentment come over me. It's as if a part of my heart that has been blackened by negativity has now been made clean. I want to spin in circles. Round and round. You feel like you're going to fall. But you don't.
You only laugh.

It's the third week of Advent. Marilyn and I had the honour of lighting the candles on the Advent wreath in church over the weekend. I lit the pink candle that symbolises joy. Joy.
The search we're on is fundamentally the search for Joy. We seek joy in places, people, things. But isn't it true that joy can only be found in yourself, in the very core of your existence? Joy doesn't come and go.
Joy is.
When do we stop being fascinated by a full moon, by our shadows, by the fact that we can breathe? Growing up teaches us so many lessons but sadly, growing up makes us lose that sense of wonderment. Too busy. Too tired.

Don't live life thinking that nothing good has come your way. Bad things have happened and they will continue to happen. Your heart will be broken, your loved ones will pass on, that job offer will be taken from you.

But as you weep, i ask that you remember the day you were a child of five, sitting on the floor with your mouth wide open after the fairy lights on the Christmas tree were switched on. Nothing else mattered.

Joy is inside of you. It is. Remember this and weep to the beauty.

Friday, December 10, 2004

How pale is the sky that brings forth the rain

December seems to be moving along quickly, maybe even too quickly. I love this month for its cooler weather, which nicely complements the sipping of a cuppa whilst walking down the street, looking at fairy lights. I love splashing in puddles of water after a rainstorm. I love the spirit of Christmas. I love the fact that soon, another year will be before us, bringing with it new possibilities and changes.
But for all these good things that December brings, things also seem bittersweet as i recall all that has happened in the past few months. The future is uncertain for me and that is scary.

Yesterday, i met Jo for coffee. Over some caramel macchiato, rasberry tea and mini chocolate log cake, we talked. I couldn't ask for a better friend.

I've been spending some time in the adoration room in church recently just to talk to God and give thanks for all the blessings He has bestowed upon me. I sit there and i be. What a relief to be able to do that.


My friends, if i haven't told you that i love you, please know that i do. You're special and my life is that much richer because of you. I wish you joy, love and peace this Christmas. May God bless you and keep you.
Love, Gen.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Your glass is empty




I was in the bus, on my way home, after watching Bridget Jones, shopping and sipping Starbucks' Creme Brulee Latte with Rel. I never wrote about my dismay upon discovering that Starbucks had run out of Toffee Nut Lattes. Something about their syrup running out, which is just CRAZY. My favourite drink- no more.
But the Creme Brulee latte was pretty darn good. So i may just be able to forgive Starbucks.

But anyways.
I was in the bus, on my way home, after watching Bridget Jones, shopping and sipping Starbucks' Creme Brulee Latte with Rel. I saw a couple walking hand in hand along the street. They came to a traffic light. He put his arms around her, smiled and bent his head to kiss her.
That whole scene simultaneously broke me and gave me hope.

One day, i tell myself. One day.