Magic eyes

You'd be happy to know that despite the busy-ness that is my life now, i have taken some time out to have a crush. Or two. But they seem like such sensible crushes- i'm not feeling giddy; my heart doesn't race; i'm not thinking of our kids' names; i'm not struck dumb in their presence.
Maybe it's because i have become more sensible in recent weeks. Everything is moving so fast that i barely have time to stop and stare at the sunset. The days seem almost seamless. Monday could be Tuesday or Wednesday. It's Sunday too soon. I don't have time to be off with the fairies.
And i miss that.
But how amazing is it that God decides to wake me up at 4 in the morning to speak to me, when He knows i won't be distracted by the things of this world. And what he told me and what happened later that day...it floors me. I also can't believe that in two weeks, i'll be living in a fabulous house. I haven't found that house yet. But i will. This week.
I can't believe i've grown into the sort of woman that allows God to instruct her heart even at night. I'm proud of myself.

Good things happen if you just believe

I don't even know where to begin. The chaos that seemed to have fled from my life is back with a vengeance.

I have five interviews to conduct this week for my research. Which means i have seven interviews to transcribe next week. One hour of interviewing takes approximately three hours to transcribe. Each of my interviews lasts for about 1 1/2 hours. You do the Math.

I moved house over the weekend.
I am thisclose to hating my new place. I might freeze here because of the lack of insulation, if i don't become deaf from the planes flying overhead before that. I also found a cockroach in my room yesterday evening. The only good thing is living with Lisa. We take turns to whinge and despair. Today, it's my turn. We are getting the real estate agent to put this house back for lease but we're liable for the rent until they find someone else to take our place. We want to do all of this without having to part with any money. We need to get our bond back. We need a miracle.

I had to wait one hour for the bus back home on Sunday. It was very, very cold. I was very, very unhappy.

I don't have a desk, closet or chest of drawers. My room is a mess. I hate mess.

All is not bad, of course. For instance, i was in the choir in church last Saturday for the first time and it was so, so, so good. I have also discovered wisdom and intuition. I have been blessed with both. I don't know what happened to them regarding this house issue though. Meanwhile i have a roof over my head and for that i'm thankful. I love my research and how it's making me re-evaluate everything. I presented my work-in-progress paper last Thursday in front of fellow peers and academics. Everyone was supportive and encouraging, thank God. Food wise, My kids' German grandma made a chocolate chip and nut cake which i've been having for morning tea the past two days. It's excellent! I've also rediscovered Ribena, thanks to Lisa.
Speaking of food, i'm going to make myself a cup of hot chocolate and chill while waiting for my interviewees to show up.

I am trusting God completely.

Am i looking for someone to talk to?

Dear Winter,

Welcome back. You fooled us for a bit, didn't you? You gave us warm days and flip flop nights. You made us think we could put away the heater and maybe even venture out to the backyard for dinner. Oh, sly one. Now, you're back with a vengeance. The shivering folks who wander the streets of Sydney, with scarves and long coats and a grim mouth set hard against the chill are a testemant to your presence. The usually flip flop-ed young 'uns choose to remain inside, with Australian Idol for company. It's not that bad, though. The cold demands that you have a hot chocolate (with marshmallows). The cold demands that you snuggle up under the duvet with a good book. The cold demands attention to heat. The cold demands nostalgia for days of warmth. You thought you could placate the southern hemisphere with snow. If you were going to give those Victorians some snow, would it have been so difficult to send some our way? If we're going to be cold, we may as well have snow. Just one day to stick our tongues out and catch that little bit of snow. Just one day for schools to be closed. Just one day for people to slow down and be amazed and maybe even build a snowman or two. I hear you even gave the Tasmanians some snow. The Tasmanians! We Sydneysiders are left to question your judgement.
Alright then, Winter. I've shivered in the city, i've had my hot chocolate and now, i'm off to snuggle under the duvet. Just think about what i've written, won't you? Remember this: It's never too late. This is new for me, Winter. If you haven't already guessed, i've never written to a Season before. I don't really know how to end this letter. So, maybe, just. The end.

Cheers,
Snowless (and loveless. Bah.) in Sydney

PS. How cool is it that Steve Martin's novella Shopgirl is going to be made into a movie? I loved that book. And Claire Danes as Mirabelle was a wise choice. I am pleased.

I'm a legal alien

Another reaosn why i love Google. (Google "(Your name) is" and be entertained.)
Here are some of my favourites:

genevieve is successfully reaching new winedrinkers.
genevieve is a sunny natured and sweet young woman who cares nothing for the feud and rather likes tobias.
genevieve is not really sure if she can believe him.
genevieve is a talented singer/songwriter/musician (WOO-HOO!).
genevieve is guided by visions and sworn to fulfill a destiny whose nature she does not understand.
genevieve is ill (How did they know??).
genevieve is able to hypnotise a victim using her blood.
genevieve is a picturesque little lake much frequented by passing backpackers but unknown as a productive.
genevieve is now old enough to be captivated by her fellow walkers and the feeling seems to be mutual with 2nd and 3rd graders.
genevieve is featured on the front of the school newspaper telling her tale of misfortune and lost love.
genevieve is subdivided into four members.
genevieve is happy to welcome her to the growing numbers of women tree climbers.
genevieve is madeline's dog and best friend (Yeah, yeah, moving along.)
genevieve is the last sane member of her family.
genevieve is probably not an easygoing person.
genevieve is one of several goth chicks in residence at the wilde home.
genevieve is destined to marry one of the nobles. (Yes!)
genevieve is swept off her feet by her passionate love towards a young mechanic guy and cannot hide it any longer from her suspicious mother. (Guess the secret is out, my friends.)

genevieve is the cutest thing i have ever read.

Got to love Google for trying to make you feel better about yourself.

Ms. keep-your- distance

It's supposedly 6 degrees outside now. 6 degrees on a Friday night. I'm glad i'm home with a runny nose, hacking cough and the sore-st of sore throats for company.
I think i'd forgotten what it was like to be sick. I haven't been sick since i arrived in dear old Siddanee. Must be something in the air here since i wasn't the healthiest of persons back in Singapore, getting a cold once every two or three weeks.
But oh. Now i remember. I remember the loss of appetite. I remember sheets that smell nasty, as if they had taken on the scent of sickness. I remember waking up, wanting toast. I remember wanting toast prepared by someone else. I remember.

What i don't remember is this: I don't remember waking up to a sunny, cold, crisp morning; the spirit yearning to be walking outside with a coat and scarf and a cup of hot chocolate whilst the body demands rest and warmth. I don't remember having to do laundry, waiting for the wash to be done and then walking all the way to the back of the apartment to hang it all out to dry. I don't remember walking to Woolies to get a bunch of bananas (and then finding out its was $1.48 per bag instead of the usual $0.98). I don't remember having to cook dinner just so i wouldn't starve.
I don't remember because i never had to experience any of that. Someone did my laundry. Someone cooked. Someone bought the bananas. Someone paid for those bananas.

Being sick is one thing.
But being sick and having no one to take care of you is another thing altogether. Believe me, it's not fun.

Meanwhile, I watched Raising Helen and liked it. Lisa and i signed the lease on our new house and we saw Chris, the cute real estate man with the bluest eyes. I wore my boots last night. An old Irish dude started chatting with me last night at the bus stop (what did he mean when he said he liked ladies in boots?). And the ginger, soy and honey chicken i cooked for dinner wasn't bad either. Go, Ms. independent.

What you're worth

There are days when i feel very attractive. Take today for instance. I'm sitting at home with a hacking cough, my throat feels like it's on fire and i had a much needed but very disorienting 2-hour nap this afternoon (i go to bed when it's light out and wake up when it's dark. The clock tells me that it is only late afternoon. 5:30. It feels like another lifetime.) I should be feeling out of sorts. And maybe i am. But i put on a cute little outfit, my black heels (with the purple butterfly. The purple butterfly makes this shoe.), put my hair up in a bun. And then let it down. And then up again. With my glasses on, i look like an intelligent, attractive, confident, self-assured young woman. With my glasses off, i look like an intelligent, attractive, confident, self-assured woung woman. I smile at my reflection and imagine myself at dinner next to the boy of my dreams. He leans over and whispers, "Can i say something? You're beautiful." I say thank-you but laugh it off. But in my mind, as always, i evaluate and re-evaluate. I analyse. (And even in my daydream, i analyse. Funny that.) Does he like me or does he like me? Should i start planning the kind of shoes my bridesmaids are going to wear? (Oh wait. I've already done that.)
To cut the story short, yes. Yes, he likes me. Those around us are looking at us and smiling. They see me leaning into him, they see him looking at me and wham. We're it.

Where is this even going? I feel attractive tonight. There is no man in my life, although i'd be lying if i said i didn't have a particular male in my mind for the dinner scenario mentioned above. Life goes on. I'm moving house next week and my dearest Lisa and i will be flatmates. I have a presentation next Thursday. God's love for me is still unfathomable. My love for Him makes me giddy. I'm still waiting for Him to give me a keyboard and a man. In that order.

[Randomness]How nice would it be to have someone next to you at night? I just want to feel safe. Oh, and a cuddle. A cuddle!![/Randomness]