I dream of beauty i have never seen yet i feel the sweetness here and now

The last day of summer is cold and blustery. It is time for winter jackets, scarves and gloves to be brought down from the shelves- always a bittersweet thing to do. It's been a whirlwind summer around here with very few hot, hot days that used to be common and more rain than anyone ever expected. I still find myself trying to settle in to now. It's been a little harder than i thought it would be but i am hopeful about what will come next.

This morning, i went for a walk in the cold and it was beautifully refreshing. I had some toast and jam and Morning Tea from T2 for breakfast. The little pink roses Jon bought me yesterday sit in the vase on the table, making me unbelievably happy.

Maybe i am settling in better than i give myself credit for. Maybe i am better than i give myself credit for. Maybe i am that confident and beautiful and intelligent and creative and sensitive woman that i oftentimes have trouble believing that i am.

Let the rain come down and wash away my tears

Harsh words were uttered back and forth last night until sleep rescued us. In the dark of the night, it all seemed frightening. Tonight, a chance to make things right again.

Sunday blues

I've spent the whole of my Sunday lying down and feeling so sick because of my cramps. Thank goodness it was a Sunday and Jon was by my side the whole time rubbing my back and telling that it was all going to be ok, which it was after a blackout and mind-numbing pain. My friends Cheryl, Ursula and my pastor, Fini, came and prayed over me, which was the best feeling in the world. The pain just lifted after that. I can't believe i had my pastor in the house and everything was a mess around me but oh well. I love that i belong to a church where the leaders care enough about you to come over to your place and make sure everything is ok.

A happy day picture to remind me that i will feel better tomorrow.

cupcakes

I've found the best cupcakes in the world and they're just a 10 minute walk away from me. We got the vanilla cupcake with chocolate frosting and the red velvet cupcake from We Take The Cake in Queens Park and oh my goodness! They're SO good! The cupcake itself is light and flavourful but the frosting is amazing, if a little bit on the sweet side. It was such a nice treat for a very autumnal Saturday afternoon and i can't wait to go back to try another flavour. It's actually a cupcake cafe so i might try eating in the next time with a cappuccino to keep me warm. Sounds like just the right activity when wintertime is upon us (With Jonathan singing "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" in the kitchen right now, maybe winter will be here sooner than we think!).

confidence

A little bit of autumn in the trees surrounding me and with that, it's another time of transition. I would really love to be working right now- not only to contribute financially to my household but also for personal fulfillment. I know it's not easy to get a job without much experience but i'm certain that something will come up soon. Meanwhile, i get to enjoy the last days of summer doing what i love- breakfast after a walk, hanging up the washing, reading voraciously, writing, exploring and dreaming about the days to come.

To my Valentine

To my Valentine,

I am so glad i waited for the right one to come along. You treat me like a princess- massages at night, washing up after dinner, playing the guitar for me, encouraging and supporting me in everything, writing me love notes every morning, buying me flowers and Real Simple, staying home from work to take care of me when i'm sick, forgiving me so quickly when i've been nasty and loving me like i've never been loved before. I thank God every day for you and i will love you for all my life, and heaven too.

Love,
Gen

Sunday day trip

Jon and i went up to the Blue Mountains yesterday for a daytrip and we had the bestest time! The drive was lovely (as they always are when i don't have to drive), the weather was beautiful and the air in the mountains was cool, crisp and so clean. I couldn't stop taking deep breaths and wish i could have bottled it up for when i need some refreshment.

We went to the town of Leura, which was very pretty but touristy. I got a pretty coaster and an old issue of Australian Country Style ($1!) to bring home with me. We also had a lovely lunch there. I had the goats chesse and caramelised onion tart which was incredible. Then, we headed to Echo Point at Katoomba to see the Three Sisters, a rock formation. The view was breathtaking!

I will never forget this trip. I felt so close to God, surrounded by the waterfalls and mountains and to have my husband, my best friend there beside me holding my hand and chatting about life...i would not exchange it for anything.

I had me a handsome driver

The beautiful drive

I love tree lined streets

A little church that was too pretty to drive past

Us at Echo Point

Mt Solitary (I felt drawn to this mountain only to find out later that it was called Mt Solitary- perfect for this season in my life where i feel the need for solitude very strongly)

The Three Sisters

Jon at Echo Point

Wentworth Falls

I could not capture the splendor of the mountain in this picture

I love creeks

My little suburb and an afternoon coffee

I love the suburb i live in. It's a fairly affluent one in the eastern suburbs and it is nothing short of a miracle that we managed to find a little apartment to rent within our budget. It's got such a great community feel to it and is surrounded by other equally lovely suburbs like Clovelly. I live so close to my favourite beach and love going there for walks and swims. I love that i can walk out of the house and breathe in the ocean air. I love how fresh the flowers smell. I love looking at all the beautiful houses and wondering which one will be mine in the years to come. Living here has been so good for my spirit and now that we've found an amazing church just 5 minutes away, i really don't think i can ask for anything more. Today, i walked to my new favourite cafe, Clodeli and sat down with the dream journal that Jon and i share and ordered a soy latte. A cool, autumnal change is definitely in the air and i thought having coffee and doing some writing was in the cards. I had such a nice time jotting down my dreams and visions and on the way home, took some photographs of pretty things. A splendid afternoon.

It's a cookie baking sorta day

It's been raining everyday for a week and all i want to do is bake some chocolate chip cookies, have some tea and curl up on the couch with a good book. The cookies are done (sooo good) and the book is out. All i need now is the tea. I love how the rain slows everything down and forces me to prioritise. And i am prioritising a good read and some cookies now.

This morning was lovely. I went to the beach for a walk and then went out to the verandah of my home to have breakfast. The sky was blue and the cool wind was refreshing. I felt so at peace with myself and my surroundings as i sat there having my raisin toast and sipping my tea.

It's times like this that i need to remember and savour- the way the wind cools the body in midsummer; buttered raisin toast still warm from the toaster; tea made just right; indescribable peace and content despite all the uncertainty in my life right now; "Who's going to drive you home tonight?" on the radio.

The moment is captured in my mind.

A burning memory

The rain that fell last night was much welcomed. It has been a hot and humid week and it was nice to be refreshed by the cool air. As the rain fell, i lay on the couch with the windows open and listened. I put some of my old CDs on and listened to (mostly sad) love songs.

Yes, it was that kind of night. It made me remember all those rainy nights back in Singapore when i would look out of the window and pray for a boyfriend. Nothing happened as planned but by a strange twist of events (or God's divine timing), i landed in Sydney, fell in love and got married.

But there is always something more that i want. Something else to dream about and hope for.

And now, we've come to the first day of the last month of summer. Soon, i'll have to take out the coats and scarves and put away my slippers. It's always bittersweet for me to do this. During the cold months, it seems like spring and summer is so far away and then when it gets here, it disappears so quickly.

But this year, i really want to enjoy winter. I complain too much when it gets cold (probably because i've lived in the tropics most of my life and am still not used to seasons) but i want to notice the beautiful things brought to life in the cold this time around. Maybe a new red coat will help me enjoy the season better as well.

There are so many things to look forward to and everyday i tell myself that if i can just forget about the bad and trust that God holds my future ever so gently in his hands, things will be so much nicer for me.